Sunday, April 1, 2012

The tale of missing earrings

Women are brighter than men. I have absolutely no doubts about that, none whatsoever. And, in these days of liberated and self-reliant women, men often wonder what their role is cut out to be.

In all our years in the land of the free, both Dhanno ki Amma and I had very busy professional lives. And generally, she was much more cerebral in her approach to life than I was. Since urban women in the land of the free are perhaps the most liberated ones in the world, I often wondered, what role men had left to play.

I hate shopping malls. I hate the brick and mortar they are built with. I hate the perfume and the velvet they stock. I hate the roads leading to them, and I hate their parking lots. As someone who grew up in small town India, to me, malls have always been the absolute antithesis of civilized Desi shopping, which for me, can only happen in good old fashioned Bazaars. But, on the few rare occasions that Dhanno ki Amma has dragged me kicking and screaming to the mall, I have realized something very fundamental about the role men have left to play in this modern and scary world.

Men, have been relegated to the task of carrying bags, sometimes, dozens of them, and of dutifully following their women, while they shop. Sometimes, they are also given the task of hanging around the trial rooms in the various clothing stores, and providing yes or no answers to the clothes that their women try on.

Centuries from now, historians will write, "For a long time, human males, carrying heavy shopping bags, dutifully followed the females, just like a camel would follow the Bedouin in the desert. As machines replaced the need for bigger and muscular creatures,  human males slowly became extinct. The invention of the robot, that dutifully followed women in shopping malls, and carried more than fifty pounds at a time, was the straw, that finally broke the camel's back."

With these scary thoughts on my mind, I have been wondering lately, what role men can still play. A few days ago, Dhanno ki Amma  got very upset with me. She lost one of her earrings when she had gone out shopping, and when she told me about it, I was in one of my contemplative frames of mind. So, I had said, "If you can't take care of those things, why do you wear them?"

I won't go into the details of what followed, but I will tell you this. Men,  specially Indian men, have one more task cut out for them, which has been around for centuries before anyone ever thought of shopping malls. The task of finding missing earrings that their women lost. And, since I failed miserably in this task, I have to make amends for the next few weeks. But, in the mean time, I will leave you with a beautiful Desi song from a long time ago, that Desi Babu came across.  It is all about the tale of missing earrings, and where to find them.

dhundo dhundo re sajna, dhundo re sajna more kan kaa bala.. 
(Look for my missing ear-ring, my dear husband...) 


Sunday, March 18, 2012

चाँद की बुढ़िया

गर्मीं की छुट्टियों में दादी,
 ढ़ेर सारी कहानियाँ सुनाती थीं।
छत पर, खुले आसमान के नीचे, तारे गिनाती थीं,
और चाँद पर सूत कातती बुढ़िया को दिखाकर,
उसके किस्से सुनाती थीं।  

कल रात सपने में आईं दादी,
पूछा मैंने, दादी तू तो कहा करती थी,
 कि चाँद पर एक बुढ़िया रहती है।

कुछ दिनों पहले, 
चीनियों ने रॉकेट पर एक दूरबीन लगाया,
और उसको चाँद तक उड़ाया, 
यह साबित कर दिया कि कोई बुढ़िया नहीं रहती चाँद पर,
सिर्फ गहरे खड्डे हैं वहाँ, और बिना पानी के समंदर। 
 
दादी मुस्कराई और कहा मुझसे,
बेटा, चाँद की बुढ़िया तो वहीं की वहीं है।

जब हम आँखों पर चश्मे की जगह दूरबीन लगा लेते हैं,
तब पास की चीज़ें दूर नज़र आती हैं ।
और दूर की चीज़ें?
पता नहीं, कहाँ चली जातीं हैं।  

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Churn

"Dad, are you taking a nap?"

"No sweetie, I am just trying to meditate while lying down."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure!"

"What is a churn?"

"I think you are asking me about the arrangement that makes butter. It's an earthen pot with a lid that has a stick fitted to it. The stick has a rope coiled around it. If you put cream in the pot and churn it by pulling on the rope, the butter in the cream floats up. And then, you put it on a toast, and eat it."

"Wow! That sounds like the story about the gods and the demons that I read in Amar Chitra Katha.  Only, that they churned the ocean waters, and they used a giant snake for the rope and a mountain for the stick."

"Yes, that's the one."

"And dad, do you know that after they churned the ocean, nectar and deadly poison came out. Lord Shiva drank the poison to save the universe, and the gods and the demons fought over the nectar, which would make them immortal."

"Yeah. But you have to remember that with cream, what comes out, is not so good for you. When you grow up, you will find that having too much butter can clog your arteries and  make you very sick. Buttermilk, or the stuff that is left over, is actually much better for you. It can make you healthy."

"Does that mean that what was left over when the gods and the demons were done churning, could also be much better?"

"You mean the sea water? Well, I don't know about that. You know, you can't even drink it because it has too many salts in it."

"Dad, is it possible to remove the salts from the sea water?"

"Yes. But it is a complicated process. You need large machines for desalination, which is what removing salt from sea water is called."

"What type of machines?"

"Well, there are many types. The idea is to heat up the water and convert it to steam. Some people believe that if you pass the steam through a giant machine called a centrifuge, you can remove all the salt from it. And then, if you cool it down, you get pure drinking water."

"Dad, what is a centrifuge?"

"Uh, let's see.  A centrifuge is a machine that can spin something around very rapidly and separate the things that are in it. Like water and salt."

"You mean this machine is something like a churn?"

"Yes sweetie, something like a churn."