Monday, September 5, 2011

Jodie and the Little Green Men

Having been a member of the scientific community for a while, I have come across many types of pitches people make, to get their research projects funded. In the presentations, there is erudition,  there is bravado, there is nonchalance, and sometimes, there is desperation. And once, I really cracked up, when the logic for being funded went as, "We are trying to do something serious with the money, we are just not proposing to listen to the little green men from space!"

Ah, the little green men.

A few years ago, a much publicized initiative to look for extra-terrestrial intelligence took off. The SETI project, as it was officially known, was trying to listen to radio transmissions from alien civilizations.  People had a lot to say about why this would be a completely futile effort, since the project assumed that there would be an alien civilization out there, advanced enough to communicate through space, but still not advanced enough, to have invented something better than radio. But, thanks to the visionary co-founder of Microsoft, Paul Allen, the Allen telescope was funded, and they did try for a while to tune into the little green men. And then, as nightmares in the research community go, the funding ran out.

Recently, it was very heartening to note, that the beautiful Hollywood actress, Jodie Foster, opened up her purse, to give the SETI project, a new lease on life. Jodie Foster, as pretty as she might be, acted amazingly well in the movie Contact. She played the role of a scientist, who was -- you guessed it right -- listening in to little green men from space.



I don't watch many movies, in fact, I always prefer reading a book to watching a movie. And, very often, I watch a movie, because it is based on a book, that I have already read. Carl Sagan's Contact, was one such book. And, it was an absolutely delightful experience. Jodie Foster, played Dr. Ellie Arroway, the scientist, who ended up making contact with an alien civilization. The movie is well known for its juxtaposition of the metaphysical world with the scientific. One particular scene, had a rather compelling dialog, between the religious preacher, Palmer Joss, and Ellie Arroway, the atheist, after she was not chosen as the first human being to make contact.

Ellie Arroway:  Why did you do it?
Palmer Joss: Our job was to select someone to speak for everybody. And I just couldn't in good conscience vote for a person who doesn't believe in God. Someone who honestly thinks the other ninety five percent of us suffer from some form of mass delusion.

One thing that I have always wondered about movie stars and the like, is their total inability to talk about issues that they might strongly feel about. They live the life of a goldfish in a bowl, and more often than not, they are picked for roles, based on their looks, and not their cerebral capabilities. After many years of fortune and fame, some of them are able to break out of the goldfish syndrome, and speak their minds. But most, are content to lead their dolled up lives, attending flower shows and publicly contributing to charities, that seem to raise money, only through black tie dinners in Beverley Hills. So, sometimes, it is refreshing to see that actors can have brains -- and hearts.

Ms. Foster could contribute to a charity and get her three minutes of fame on page three, something, that she already has. But instead, she chose to contribute to something "crazy", but something, that I believe she became sentimentally attached to, after she played the lead role in Contact. And, for that, as someone who is always with the "crazies", she has my respect.

People, who believe that alien civilizations exist, have always wondered what the first contact would look like.  Hollywood, (and our own Bollywood, through the sorry excuse of a Sci-Fi movie called Koi Mil Gaya), usually portrays aliens as pumpkin headed dwarfs. The "first contact" scenes are taken to ridiculous levels. Usually, a saucer shaped spaceship lands in the middle of nowhere, a telescopic staircase touches the ground, and, after a few moments of painful silence, a pumpkin head with the eyes of a Siamese cat, appears. And invariably, we are led to believe, that our world has been profoundly altered. For ever.

Carl Sagan, the master scientist and storyteller, had his own take on "first contact", which had made me quite speechless. There were no flying saucers, no telescopic staircases and, no pumpkin headed aliens. The encounter between Ellie Arroway and the alien, takes place in her mind. The alien, accesses her thoughts, and takes her to a beautiful beach, constructed from her memories. There, it appears as a person, who is extremely dear to Ellie -- her father, who is long gone, and sorely missed by her. It seems like an extremely cerebral way of making first contact with a foreign civilization, and shows the alien civilization possessing one trait, that we hope to see in them -- intelligence.

The movie, in its last scene, had a thought-provoking sentence spoken by the Alien, about us, the humans. "You're an interesting species. An interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable -- is each other."

And it goes without saying that Ms. Jodie Foster, was at her thespian best. Hopefully, with her help, we will hear from the little green men out there. Soon.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

In search of employment

नौकरी की तलाश

कहते हैं वोह कि उनको अफलातून चाहिए ।

चाँद तक रॉकेट भेज सके जो सात दिनों में
लाइलाज दिल की फसादी कर सके जो सात घंटों में
जोहार को तोड़ आलम अखरात दिखा सके जो सात मिनटों में ।

मैंने कहा अफलातून तो मैं कभी बन नहीं सकता
मगर दिल से सुकरात की बड़ी इज्ज़त करता हूँ
अगर चाहिए तो सुकरात बनके दिखा दूं?
आखिर सुकरात तो अफलातून के भी उस्ताद थे ।

जबाब आया कि गर अफलातून के उस्ताद हो तो फिर,
सुकरात की तरह -- ज़हर का प्याला ख़त्म कर सकते हो क्या?

सात पलों में ।


 In search of employment 
(Translation)

They say that they are looking for someone like Plato.

One, who can send a rocket to the moon in seven days,
Perform surgery on an incurable heart in seven hours,
Split the atom to create an alternate universe in seven minutes.

I told them, I cannot ever become like Plato,
But my heart is full of respect -- for Socrates.
I can strive to be like him, if you wish,
Socrates, after all, was a teacher to Plato.

They said, if you think you are indeed Plato's teacher,
Like Socrates -- can you empty out a cup full of poison? 

In seven seconds.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Wisdom behind the wheel

Lately, I have been traveling quite a bit. Whenever I am in a new place, I make it a point to strike up a conversation with the cab-driver. The most profound Desi knowledge that I have ever gained, has always come from taxi drivers. In fact, sometimes, that makes me wonder why people spend so much money on shrinks, self-help gurus, or spiritual masters. If you treat the back seat of a cab as a Freudian couch, you can pretty much gain knowledge on anything, absolutely anything, that exists in the universe. The usual disclaimers apply -- the information you get, might be a well made cocktail of truth, fiction and urban legends, shaken, but not stirred. And of course, do not take any of this stuff seriously, will you?

Oh yes, one more thing - all these conversations occurred in the backdrop of India's ongoing struggle against corruption, led by Anna Hazare. Anna recently knocked out the powerful Indian government in round one. And taxi drivers in India, are usually harassed quite a bit by  traffic cops and the like, so, no prizes for guessing whose side they are on. Read on.

A few weeks ago, I was in New Delhi. As usual, I struck up a conversation with the cab-driver, who was driving me to my hotel from the airport. The conversation eventually got to corruption. My driver, who put three kids through school driving a taxi, gave me a quick lecture on corruption. His take on corruption in New Delhi was actually influenced by the occult and the divine -- may be, a healthy mix of both. He told me the story of an ancient sage who had cursed the city of Indraprastha (old name for Delhi). The sage had condemned the people of the city to be corrupt and devoid of morals. For ever. So, the reason many top politicians in India are corrupt, has something to do with this ancient sage. Apparently, Shravan Kumar,  a legendary figure from Indian mythology, who is considered an example of how people should take care of their old parents, was once passing through Indraprastha. He was carrying his old and blind parents in an arrangement known as a kanwar, which is made of two baskets, suspended from a long pole on the shoulder. As they passed through the cursed city, he stopped, and asked his parents for "fare", since he was taking them on a pilgrimage. Since his mother knew the story about the curse, she asked him to wait for a day. Once they got out of the city limits, poor Shravan Kumar, forgot all about the money. According to my taxi-driver, the curse was indeed real. So, I asked him what kept Anna Hazare "clean" while he was in Delhi. According to him, Jantar Mantar (An old Indian astronomical site, which literally means "Instrument and Formulae"), the place where Anna Hazare conducted his original sit-in, has some magic-wagic going on. It protects the upright with a cosmic energy shield. Gene Roddenberry would have been curious, to say the least.

Then, I traveled to the pride of the south -- Chennai. My taxi driver spoke a language that I least expected anyone in Tamilnadu to speak - Hindi! And, in his accented but awesome Hindi, he told me the story of the ex-chief minister of Tamilnadu, Mr. Karunanidhi. The conversation actually started with his assessment of the German car-maker BMW, and how corrupt it is. According to my cab-driver, courtesy a chauffeur friend,  he had recently seen the interior of a BMW, which belonged to a famous film-star. The car was worth a quarter of a million dollars. The BMW had a spare tire. And that, according to the cabbie,  is downright dishonest! A car, that costs that much money, should have indestructible tires. Kind of like a tire that can only be damaged by a pothole full of kryptonite. So, what does that have to do with Mr. K the ex-CM? Well, according to the cabbie, only corrupt people need spares, since they don't trust the original. And hence, Mr. K married thrice, following the spare-tire philosophy. Please don't ask me to clarify -- you just have to find the cabbie. He is usually around in Chennai airport. I think his name is Swamy.

And then, very recently, I was in New Delhi again.  In a cab, of course.The cabbie-conversation eventually got to Anna Hazare. We got into a debate on why Anna wouldn't back down during his fast. My take on the whole thing was, that since Anna is a soldier by training, he does not know how to back down. "That, and the fact that he is like a lion", said my cabbie. And then, he asked me if I knew that male lions sired only one cub during their lifetimes. Although I was pretty sure that he was on to an urban legend, I egged him on, since I wanted to know the Anna connection. So, the cabbie told me.

Apparently, after a male lion is done having sex, unlike other animals, it does not move back, to, ahem, take its instrument out. Instead, it moves forward, since a lion only knows how to move forward. And, in the process, it does irreparable damage to its instrument, not allowing it to sire again. Ever. So, if someone only knows how to move forward, he has to be a lion.

Lately, I have been thinking about visiting a shrink about all my bottled-up, subconscious issues. After my recent experiences, I think I am just going to get into a cab and see what the cabbie has to say. About my issues. Of course, the best way to get this going, is to not give the cabbie a final destination -- to keep the conversation going. So, I will ask the cabbie to keep going forward.

Like a lion.